Found myself being very intolerant in public last night. Like alot of families, my wife and I had a busy day that carried over into the evening...work, working out, going to watch a friend's son as well as several of our church member's boys play football. Needless to say, neither of us had time to cook supper and a young adult we love was in town and both of us wanted to see her and catch up. So, a local favorite Mexican restaurant sounded good, easy, and relatively cheap. This particular place had a small "bar" (about enough room to turn around in, with soccer on a flat screen and loud music...actually the loud music filled the entire restaurant!) Most of my friends and people who live in my community who bother to read this will identify this place, so I'll just leave it at that!
I recognized a few songs, as most middle aged people who are empty nesters after having teenagers for several years can attest! After we had gotten our tea, salsa and chips (which were pretty stale, I might add), a popular rap song came on, one that I knew had particularly explicit language. What can I say, I hear my kids listening to music and I'm going to check out the lyrics. Especially when it's edited because I know they'll eventually intentionally or unintentionally hear the UNedited version! So, I knew when to listen as to whether this one was edited or not. Well, about the time the edits were SUPPOSED to kick in, I shockingly realized there were no edits as the young lady sitting beside my wife and I made eye contact, shaking our heads. This song's chorus goes like this, "To the windows, to the walls..." yea, those who've heard it know what comes next!
As I heard these words, perplexed as to whether to walk out, ignore the music...practice tolerance of the "hip hop culture," etc. I actually had a surreal moment of just looking over the restaurant for about 10 seconds. I saw families with preschool and elementary aged kids, teenage couples (one actually singing along...SMH), senior adults and the restuarant employees actually smiling, singing and dancing to the song. Whether right or wrong, I immediately went to the manager...who was in the bar and no doubt either heard or allowed the song, and asked him to turn the music off, actually saying, "people didn't come here to listen to that trash!" Haha, guess I had had enough, maybe a little tired, not thinking rationally, frustrated over the stale chips...whatever! Instantaneously, I realized I had come across as angry, maybe a little imposing as I was still in workout clothes, but at that point, I was committed to leave if he said no or brushed me off. He turned it off, somewhat ashamedly.
Now, I'm not big on us Christians boycotting this and that, sticking our heads in the sand, alienating ourselves, and constantly bashing our culture, but after eating/leaving said restuarant, I could not help evaluate my decision and behavior. Pretty sure I was right, but certainly do not want to be labeled "holier than thou." But, after thinking, maybe OVERthinking this incident, I believe the struggle over tolerance and intolerance is creating much of the discord in our present society. When is tolerance the correct reaction? When do situations, behaviors, lifestyles, etc. become so offensive, not only to us personally but to society in general, that we become intolerant and say enough is enough? What determines whether something is offensive or not? What worldview does the restaurant manager possess that allows them to deem this type of music accceptable for a family restaurant, and how do we engage these worldviews as Christ would have us to? With the go along to get along, live and let live approaches we've been told is MOST Christlike, or the approach Jesus used when he cleared the Temple and even angrily rebuked those closest to him for simply preventing children from approaching Him? To me, the struggle between tolerance and intolerance is shaping alot of the cultural conflicts and even the 2016 Presidential election in the US and how we handle this tolerance/intolerance tension will likely determine whether our country survives. The trajectory of the culture our children and grandchildren grow up in, and what God ultimately says about the American church and each of us as Christians, is at stake.
I guess for me, I've kind of set a precedent for myself...I'm now obligated to request disgusting music be turned off. I'm aware this may offend, probably eliminate potential lunch meetings with friends, family, etc., who knows...some of you may walk out of a restaurant when this old "stick in the mud" comes in, but perhaps many are simply wanting to speak up but choosing to remain silent due to the struggle over tolerance or intolerance, and afraid to stand up for what's right...or what YOU deem to be right. A good question to ask, is "What would oru grandmothers have us do?" I think it's relatively simple. We are compelled to be intolerant over the issues that plagued our nation in the past...racism, bigotry toward anyone we do not identify with in general, but we are more and more being asked to be tolerant of elements in our culture which have traditionally been unacceptable...in our homes, churches and even in our entertainment. We certainly must carefully determine when tolerance or intolerance is the correct choice, but we must be willing to be viewed as politically incorrrect, intolerant prudes when so much is at risk in our society, and for the next generations.
So, I know the rap songs to be intolerant about...guessing the rest will not be so easy and clearcut!
